I’m a girl. Already had a husband. But sometimes I still thinking about my gender, or my sex orientation. I know I know, it’s like forbidden things to talk about. It just, I was thinking, alright, as long as I harm nobody in the process, I think it’s okay.
So, I’m a tomboy girl, since I was a kid, since I entered the kindergarten. I never wanted to wear any skirt or dress like a girl or wear a jewelry (like necklace or earrings). Until I was transferred into a school without requiring to be in uniform. So, I can freely wear pants all the time.
Sometimes I think that, am I assume myself as boy, unconsciously. I like wearing a boy’s outfit. I was dating a girl when I was in school (and dating a boy too) but it just for fun. I never like playing with doll, instead I did a martial arts, fighting with another boy.
Maybe this all because I never liked my mom, but I am totally a daddy’s girl, and also I have 2 brothers. So, masculinity so strong flew in my childhood.
What if, deep down inside my mind, I assuming myself as a guy. I’ll assume myself as a gay guy. Because, I still love man. A typical kind of man. I love a man who has strong feminine side, it doesn’t have to be like a sissy. My husband is a true manly man. But somehow he has a part that gives a “mother’s love like”, so warm it melts me.
Well, If I’m a guy gay, I can approve it and my husband can approve it. Look, I can drive all kind of vehicles. I drink black coffee. I know how to drive car and understand it’s inside more than my husband. I smoke sometimes (my husband didn’t).
Maybe it doesn’t approve anything. It just weird imagining another side of normal looking couple, like me and my husband. But it’s all fun, I can drive, fixing the furniture and else. He can wash dishes, sweeping the floor and else. We can swap our gender activity at home, equality is good right? But when we talk about “bed activity”, it’s just the same as other people. Same technique, same enjoyment, same pleasure. It just our fetish that different lol.